Last September I watched my little boy, the child that made me a mother, take his very 1st steps into “big school“. Whilst such an ordinary stage, something we have known was coming since his birth became our reality and lifestyle, it still felt like such a massive step!
As I watched him file in with his classmates in his little grey shorts, long socks and new shiny shoes, I felt within my whole being that this was the start of new experiences for us all, a new chapter and learning curve for everyone, and since that day I have often wondered, and at times worried too, about how he was finding full-time school. How exactly did he fit in? How was the work? Did he understand and was he doing well? Or was it a struggle for him? Did it confuse him? Was he really happy?
That seems like ages ago now and he seems so much bigger, but whilst his entrance every morning is less awkward and cautious, I know very little of how his experience is week to week and these questions play on my mind. Like most parents I expect, the most we get about school is what he had for lunch and pudding, the odd pic and random letters he has scribbled and some tales of his friends. Whilst lovely to hear even the smallest thing about this huge chunk of time we are apart, as a mother I really do miss him, wonder all of the above and just am desperate to know what is going on in his life away and so separate from me. I therefore have literally been counting down the days to parents evening this week so that I could see his work, get more insights to him as a pupil and learn about how he really is getting on.
We missed that last one and so this was our 1st. We drove together whilst a friend watched the kids and we suddenly felt old, we wondered where time had gone and how were we here in this stage of “Parents evenings” that seemed like not that long ago for us. We were overly eager and excited and I’d even say I felt a little nervous at what I might here about my little boy.
Well it was just lovely to see his work, the efforts he displays and to hear of his friends. To see how much he knows and does, to hear of the things he finds tough but keeps trying with and to know he is doing just fine academically. It worried my though to be told he is “Very Shy” and rarely answers questions, rarely talks in class and becomes involved in those things. We glanced and laughed at each other as it was far from the boisterous, witty, eager child we know and adore, but then were intrigued at how different he is and is perceived in that setting. Perhaps he is shy as he isn’t comfortable, perhaps like his dad he doesn’t feel a need to be involved in it all but just watch and take it in. Maybe he is scared of authority? Maybe, maybe maybe… I just do not know. But I know he loves to perform, he loves to be loud and tell jokes, he loves life and having deep thinking conversations with us. I don’t know why this side doesn’t shine through and its as peculiar to me as this character we described is to his teacher, but I am proud that at 5.5 he is working hard, he is kind, polite and a friend and that he gives each piece of work his best shot. He is happy and he is excited for life and that is enough.
I loved this experience of parents evening, so ordinary and the 1st of many as a parent. But I love more how I have come to see my child in a new light, I have seen how he is with others and have been able to learn more about him and see how he is developing independently of us. what an eye opener!
Linking up with Katie at mummydaddyme for #ordinarymoments