It wasn’t until yesterday morning, that I woke up and finally felt some excitement about the Royal wedding. Being a suits fan, and a partial royalist, I realised that I couldn’t wait to see who was there (thanks Meghan you didn’t let us down by inviting the whole cast), and generally to see all of the British traditions that come with an historical event such as that of a royal wedding!! The preacher from America made my day, as did the whole beauty of the event itself and their love. I felt incredibly proud to be British on a day like yesterday!

After a week of what I can only describe as a major struggle, the joy that filled my heart watching the Royal wedding, and having a tea party following it in grandma’s garden, was a welcomed break. It certainly rounded this week off wonderfully, and I am so glad we made the effort and I am feeling more like me again!

Grateful for 

Being grateful this week has been hard for me to do. Rather I have been in a place where everything feels wrong in my world and things feel like they don’t ever go right – consequently gratitude isn’t particularly something I have focused on, felt or practiced.

Looking back now though with more clarity, I would say I am grateful that we live closer to the coast for the days when I need the beach. I am grateful for Nath’s words of affirmation when I need them the most, and I am grateful for the sunshine we have had this week, and the tea party grandma threw for us yesterday… all were nuggets of joy!

Succeeded at 

On Monday I finally dug the large paddling pool out that Alice was bought for her birthday…last July! As she hasn’t really been big enough/able enough to use it, we decided to store it in the garage until this Summer! With a week of lovely weather forecasted, I thought it might be nice to get it blown up and filled for them all to play in!

So there we are – I successfully blew up by mouth (and almost passing out) a giant paddling pool for my kids, and then with the help of Ethan filled it up – With pans of water no less! – It’s safe to say we’ve seen a need for a hose in our lives!

It was lovely to see the fruits of my labours and how good success felt.

Found beauty in 

I found beauty in Grandma’s garden yesterday – basking in the sun whilst nibbling sandwiches and strawberries, and looking over the freshly mowed lawn, was both relaxing and joyful. It was lovely to see plants flourishing, and the kids swinging on the seat with her (and splashing in the hot tub with her too later on). What a prefect and very chilled Saturday!

This week I also found beauty in the waves of the sea and the lighthouse. When life is hard, take me to the beach… it is joy to my soul and seems to whisk away many a worry.

I don’t know what this week holds but I sure hope it’s more positive than last. Next weekend the kids are having a cousins sleep over at grandmas, and so we are hoping to spend it doing some decorating…. I can’t wait to finally spruce our home and finish a few odd jobs!

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Following what had been a lovely sunny and long bank holiday weekend (spent on the coast and submerged in the beauty of where we live), this week turned all rather dramatic really, with the focus being mostly on Mr Smith and his neck injury!

It all began on Tuesday, when on his way to work, someone went into the back of him at the bottom of a rather steep hill and consequently caused some damage to our car, and whiplash to his neck! We spent pretty much all day Wednesday at A&E in Hull, where after an initial consultation he was referred to the X-ray department. From here he was sent for an MRI, and then 7.5 hours later he was finally given the all clear to go home and rest (with painkillers). The remainder of the week saw me carrying on as normal, doing more of the driving, and ensuring his comfort.

Grateful For… 

At the top of the list this week would be that I am truly grateful for the NHS – free healthcare and being able to get such good service is a huge blessing in life. Especially when my eyes were opened on our recent trip to America as to how much it would all be privately! With that I am also so incredibly grateful for a fit and health hubby who will have no long term damage! The whole A&E situation did have me concerned for a while that he possibly could have nerve damage, but thankfully it’s only a strain and with physio (starting this week) he is going to be just fine!!

I am also grateful for lots of sunshine, a bank holiday weekend, country walks with the family and lunch dates at the park!

Succeeded At…

Handing in my second unit for college. This one was all about the theories of counselling, and whilst rather interesting, I was relieved to see the back of it! I only have 3 more units and a case study to do before finishing my diploma at the end of June – all of which are significantly smaller than these first 2! I am hopeful I will pass, and as I have not completed anything academic in years, it is all rather exciting and feels great!

I also succeeded at doing an online shop! I’ve done them loads before and I prefer it purely because I know it’s usually cheaper and easier all round. I have said for a while we should just have our shopping delivered now to save time and keep us in budget. But then I often forget to do it and end up buying far too many extras when I head to LIDL, and I spend far too long browsing and just waste time! This week however I remembered, and yesterday our weekly shop came – later than hoped but complete and in budget nonetheless – Hoorah!

Found Beauty In…

On bank holiday Monday we enjoyed a lovely local hike with my parents and one of my sisters and her kids. It was about 5.5miles in total, and the whole thing was beautiful. It is in moments like that, when I am stood in wide open spaces illuminated by the sun, that I have to pause and catch my breath – always in complete awe and appreciation of how blessed we are to live in such a gorgeous corner of the country! We have been here almost a year now, and I am still amazed at how lovely our village and surrounding areas are – I feel thankful for the beauty all around me – It brings great joy to my soul!

What has brought you joy and gratitude this week? let me know in the comments! 
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One of the things I love about being British is how excited we get for a bit of Sun! I have loved the prospect of not only a longer weekend for this “bank holiday weekend”, but the fact that we also have a great weather forecast too! Just yesterday we embraced it in true British style when we saw the blue skies and sunshine, and got our shorts and sandals on and headed to the coast for a family beach day. It turned out the coast didn’t get the memo of us wanting a nice warm beach day and with the cool coastal winds and plenty of whining from me and the kids that we were cold, we called it a day and headed home.

This week has been such a crazy kind of week with my TV appearance and a delayed trip to London, followed by the aftermath of emotions that come from sharing our story and the usual busy day to day stuff of family life. I really need to take some time out and rest from it all and process things. It was great and hard, and it has been good to see the results… but boy am I tired!

 Grateful For …

This week I am grateful for Channel 5 doing their piece on Stillbirth, and for being a part of that. I am grateful that despite the mega long delay, that I made it in the end to say something and join the panel of such brave and courageous parents!

I am also grateful for the yummy Mexican food we enjoyed yesterday for dinner – I tried a new recipe and it was really tasty! I am grateful for new friends in the village that I am loving getting to know, and finally for Nathan – who is always on my side and supporting me, and is such a wonderful husband and father. It makes me happy to be together on family outings and to look and see him and our children together having fun!

Succeeded At …

It didn’t feel like a success with the train issues getting in the way of things, but Nath said I most certainly did succeed at helping to raise awareness and share our story via channel 5’s “Stillbirth: Still a Taboo”. I need to get over the fact I missed the live portion (it might be next week’s success!). But we also successfully made it home again to Yorkshire with all of the delays/cancelled trains that met us at Kings Cross that night.

But aside from that chunk of the week taken up with trains, Tv and London, I also successfully got to college the following day despite feeling “meh”, and then got the kids to swimming on time and home again without missing the train on Thursday. I successfully made a mexican feast yesterday, and successfully ate a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s too (hahaha)!

Found Beauty In…

Alice has started reaching for Megan whenever she is sad or afraid, and then wraps her arms around Megs for a big sisterly hug. It is so gorgeous to see and brought tears to my eyes the first time I saw her do it. They have a beautiful little bond and I love how Alice is wanting to be with Megs more and more.

So yes – Sisterly hugs at the park and home, pink blossom trees, and the kids engrossed in playing at the beach together yesterday were all the things I found beauty in this week. With high emotions and feeling “meh” it was nice to see these special things around me!

I hope you have a fab bank holiday, and let’s hope that sun keeps shining so that in true British style we can crack the BBQ’s out and flock to the seaside!

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On Monday morning I headed to London on the train to participate in some filming with Channel 5 for a piece on Stillbirth. It was lovely to be able to meet such a bunch of brave, and kind women, and to hang out a little with 2 other blogging friends; Laura Dove from Five Little Doves, and Jess from The Legacy of Leo – it is always exciting to meet a person in real life (hi Jess), and to see a familiar face! It will be aired LIVE on Tuesday at 6.30pm and I am feeling sooo nervous about that part, and still can’t decide what to wear for the live show!

With that as the start to my week, you could say that this week has been rather a surreal one, and of course, very reflective. It is so good that Channel 5 are covering such an important topic, and one that is still so widely awkward for people, but sharing our story always stirs those raw emotions I work to keep a lid on day to day. However, I say time and time again that the ripples of stillbirth and baby loss are huge, and looking back I would have loved to have seen women like me sharing how life is months and years on. I did get that a lot from Leeds SANDS, but I know that that isn’t an option for everyone, and so have always said if I can write or do something that can help even one family/person to navigate through the fog of losing a baby, and try to normalise loss in everyday life, then I will jump right on it! Of course it is emotional, of course it is scary and vulnerable too, but we need to talk and break the silence to help others!

Grateful For …

This week I am grateful for my Mum and sister helping out with childcare and school runs so that I could easily go to London and back. I am grateful to be working on an important piece with Channel 5 and sharing Poppy’s story with others – It is a privilege!

I am also grateful for Deli No.1 Milkshakes (choco – mint!) and friends to share them with. And finally I am grateful for lovely friends in the village that invited Alice and I out on Thursday! It was such a laugh, and generally lovely day at The Deep in hull … chasing tots, watching fish and sharks, and seeing the penguins being fed! I never did get my piece of cake I was chatting about, so hopefully that will be next time, but all in all it was a great spontaneous day that left me feeling happy!

Succeeded At …

This weekend I have had 3 of my nephews to stay to enable my sister and her husband to be able to have a lovely time in Cambridge for his Masters graduation (well done guys!) and general celebrations of that. On Friday I also had one of my nieces as my other sister was working a night shift, so here is my ultimate success of the week – 7 kids, about 4 hrs sleep, and me still sane and my house not too trashed = high 5 and ultimate success!

Yesterday we also took a train into Hull with the original 6 and went round a couple of the museums. I loved it, and whilst this was far more manic than we anticipated (and 5 out of the 6 kids ended up soaked to the skin after running through the fountains), we are all in one piece and still had a good day all round. So I want to say I feel good to have succeeded with Nathan at looking after 6 kids from 21 months to 8 years old for the weekend!

Found Beauty In …

Seeing Alice on Thursday at The Deep, was one of the cutest and most beautiful things I have seen in a while! She was loving it, and was so vocal and excited to be there. She shouted at the stingrays and sharks, and couldn’t figure out that there was glass between her and them, so would jump each time they came near. She was mesmerized by the penguins, and both seeing the pretty aquarium and her reaction to it (as well as being with 2 lovely ladies) made for a very beautiful day indeed!

On Friday Ethan and Megan also participated in our Churches Talent show – Megs did an improv dance (it was epic) and then backed up Ethan whilst he sang! They both did us incredibly proud, and it was beautiful to see them shining on the stage.

I hope you have had a great weekend despite these April showers, and I hope this week is kind to you!

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