I totally anticipated that May 2020 would look like a girls trip to Tenerife and then a kid free break for Mr Smith and I to Istanbul – Flip me it was going to be so awesome! We also had tickets to see a Coldplay tribute band too, as well as fun adventures with the kids for half term – May 2020 was intended to be great with some great adventures!
And, it was great (in many ways), but just not in the ways that were anticipated earlier this year.
It can be hard to have exciting plans cancelled or postponed and it can be hard to deal with uncertainty. It isn’t ungrateful and it isn’t wrong to feel the disappointment or pain in that let down…and I certainly have had a few more tears this month than I have in this whole lock down period. We have to acknowledge and feel the emotion in order to be okay again and so, of course I will be a bit sad that I have had so much to do in my reality this last week instead of being with my husband celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary from October 2019 in sunny Istanbul – buying cheap tat, getting a tan and eating amazing food!!
Yes, it has been a bit disappointing for those plans to not transpire to much right now, but in spite of the cancelled plans and very different circumstances that May has thrust upon us all, I have found that all of this glorious sunshine and “permitted” longer walks have certainty enhanced this month for me.
In life lately I have been able to tick off my 3,000 word diversity and ethics assignment and I have had a mint time with the kids creating “holiday memories for half term” last week! We went on some lovely excursions (locally) and camped out in our garden too. We have decorated our bathroom and had opportunity to have some great deep chats with one another to plan our future and generally just recognise our feelings on things.
I find myself in all of this, dancing between being overwhelmed by home school, no solo time, working loads and trying to do all my coursework and then, just loving having my tribe at home and these unique days and opportunities to be a part of their learning, explore our local area more and find appreciation and joy in the simplicity of life. It is a constant balancing act but things are also constantly changing and coursework is coming to an end and, whilst May 2020 has been quite different and a little more emotionally turbulent, it has also been lovely too.
Here is what it looked like…
Loving – Of course this month I am loving the amazing weather. Summery vibes are so good for my soul and I have loved wearing shorts, sandals and taking my kids to paddle in streams and have ice creams. I am loving that I got a new placement for my counselling and loving that I have completed my research project and it’s presentation, as well as my diversity assignment. I am really loving that literally in a week or 2, all my assignments will be coming to an end I will be another step closer to becoming a qualified counsellor.
Food wise I am loving eating plenty of fresh flavours as we seem to have been eating a lot of Mexican recently and loving fish and chips overlooking Bridlington Bay! I am loving long walks in nature and long chats with Nath!
Watched – This month I watched “All The Bright Places” on Netflix – it was really good and insightful on grief and mental health. We watched an old fave – “Fun with Dick & Jane” for a good laugh and I have started Dynasty season 3. It’s totally for binge watching and trash!
Read – A whole load of scholarly articles and books about diversity! Each one has educated me and widened my thinking about cultural heritage, acceptance of others and getting seeing the world from others perspectives! I also started “The tattooist of Auschwitz”! My friend lent it to me and I will let you know hopefully next month my thoughts on it. I am fascinated by this period of history and have heard it is both emotional and brilliant! I am looking forward to delving into it’s pages!
Listened to – my kids winding each other up far too often, but also chatting in the tent at night and giggling as they run around more outdoors – it is beautiful!
Music wise I have been listening this month to a lot of Destiny’s child and Beyonce, Oasis and Blink 182! I feel like that was the same as last month? But I am loving the memories of my teen music choices!
Bought – May has seen my buying habits to mainly include plants and home things. We decided to decorate our bathroom and chose to do it black and white. The bathroom suite itself is white with charcoal tiling – it isn’t my number one choice BUT it is in lovely condition and so if it isn’t broke – don’t fix it!
We instead just decided to update it with white walls instead of the silver floral wallpaper it’s had for 3 years living here and added some cool black and white accessories. I bought a beaut of a rug from simply be for just £8 along with 2x baskets (one of which has my new plan from Morrisons in – £10). I never even knew they did home stuff but they have some really cool stuff – I may also go back for this bath mat as an alternative! My lovely black and white towels are IKEA , mirror from Dunelm and my newest love – a massive laundry basket from TK Maxx! It was on sale for £40 but seen as though our last one lasted 10 years I have no doubt we will get our money’s worth – HA!
May wasn’t what we anticipated at all this year and I know that it is true for pretty much all of us. But, in spite of the disappointments that came our way, May 2020 has also been beautiful in many different ways. It has been productive and filled with some lovely moments. It has been filled with adventures, chippy teas, garden camping with the kids and glorious sunshine! I look forward to what we can make of June in these unprecedented times and hope the sun keeps shining!