Hello March! The blossom is appearing on the trees around the village here and the daffodils are poking out their jolly little yellow heads all around us as if to greet us on our way. Despite the back to back awful storms of February, as I look around these beautiful changes in nature, I am reminded of brighter days ahead and new life. I love the approach of springtime for these reasons and for being able to live in a brighter, more colourful and warmer world for a few months.
Spring gives me so much hope and joy; in new life after the darkness of Winter, as well as the hope and joy for warm and lovely adventures ahead as it unfolds and then becomes Summer. It is always such welcome picture as I hurry around life and see the colours and baby animals. Whilst I am aware we are not officially into spring just yet, the signs that it is on the horizon with lighter nights and sunny skies, are all around me and it makes me so happy.
I’ll be honest with you – Life lately has been pretty boring! Or rather a little mundane might be a better way of describing it. I suppose that is very much why things have been a little quiet on here, as not much outside of the ordinary day to day family life has been going on. I have plenty of things I want to be saying and blogging about, but time never seems to be on my side and whilst that is a little frustrating at times, I am mostly okay with accepting that is just how it is right now and the season we are in at the moment. I do what I can, when I can and share what I want when I want to, and that is a good balance right now for me.
So yes, life lately has been very much about work, school runs and college assignments. We spend a lot of our time looking forward to June/July time when we will both be done being students (for now! I have other courses on my radar for next year) and making plans for some Summer time adventures to have some motivation to work towards! But it is mostly just normal day to day working, school runs and mental parenting!
Loving – This month I am loving Pancake day (who doesn’t?) and enjoying them with chocolate spread and Banana! I must have made about 30 or so for an event at work, but it hasn’t stopped me making them several times at home for our family too.
I also loved valentines and celebrating another year of love with my love. I Loved having time with the kids over half term and of course, loving the approach of Spring and all its beautiful colours and the reminder to have hope in new seasons in life!
Watching – We continue to watch White Collar on Netflix as a couple each week together (Wednesday nights are usually a quiet one where we grab an hour or so together and watch an episode or 2) in addition to our Friday date nights. I really like it.
I also thoroughly enjoyed watching “A-Typical” on Netflix this month too on my own. If you haven’t seen it, then it is about a senior in high school who is on the Autism spectrum and who wants to start dating. It shows his life with his therapist and what happens day to day at work, school and home. I loved his family dynamics and interactions with others – how he says what he sees and thinks without a filter – It was really funny at times and witty, sweet, heartwarming and interesting too.
I have also finished call the midwife – emotional as always. And we continue to watch The Voice each week; I am not invested in that enough to have a favourite yet though.
Finally, I had the absolute pleasure to see The King and I at Hull New Theatre – it was SO brilliant and made me so happy to see!
Reading – I am still making my way through Braving the Wilderness. It has been hard as I lost it for 3 weeks which set me back (it was in a bag and got lost under all the coats!). I have also read plenty on casework management and supervisions for my assignment I handed in last week… It was thrilling!!!!
Listening to – This month I spent a chunk of time listening to an array of love songs from the 50’s to now that I compiled on Spotify in the name of Valentines. I especially loved rediscovering classics like REO Speedwagon “Keep on Loving you” & some Savage Garden & Usher – I felt like a teenager again (without the acne, awkward hair do and single status!).
I have also loved listening to the Aladdin soundtrack with the kids and old musicals with the residents I work with – I have a soft spot for “The Lonely Goatherd” from the sound of music – it makes me feel good every time I hear it!! And that “Musicals and Disney Faves” has all been on heavy repeat when we are all in the car together – it’s such a party!
Bought – Absolutely nothing for myself or the home – true story! I have some things on my list for this month though so will share them in due time (if I can commit to spending ha!).
Visited – One of the highlights this month for me was when I visited Leeds with my sister in law a couple of weeks ago to see Stacey Dooley Live! It was flipping well good. She is such a brilliant individual and it was super lovely and interesting to hear of her journey and outlook on life after the places she has been and the people she has met. There is so much darkness and utterly horrific things happening to people. I feel it so important to be aware of this and do what we can, but more so, it is a reminder to be a force for good in our communities and be accepting and kind to all.
I loved hanging with my SIL and we had some good times, laughs and deeper chats too. So nice!
Aside from that spontaneous little night out in Leeds, our farthest adventure this month was to the National Railway Museum in York – always a winner and free! Nath had 4 days or so in France with his mum and Bro for a friends wedding, so his adventures were slightly more exciting than what we got up to in half term, but it was lovely as I say, to have some time with the kids and we had a lot of fun.. in York, in Filey and a day in Hull too!
This Month I am Grateful for:
*Seeing The King and I
*My life and living somewhere safe
*Half Term
*Valentines day and being able to love and be loved in return
*Pancake day and chocolate spread
*Completing another assignment and finding a supervisor to work with me
*My job and the joy it brings (and the dollar of course!)
As we head into the month of March, I am not only excited for Spring, but I am also conflicted in my emotions as I once again find myself feeling sensitive and struggling to wrap my head around another mothers day without one of my kids. Mothers day is one of those dates that is so bitter-sweet for me. I really love to reflect on being a mother and celebrating my wonderful kids – it is a pleasure and I love being a mum. I love to celebrate the wonderful mothers in my life and make them feel special too.
But, I cannot reflect on my motherhood or see the word “mother” and “mothers day” all around me without being reminded that I am also a bereaved mother too…and that part is often hard to have to remember.
It’s hard to know the day is missing someone and her name on things – her little drawings and cards from school. It’s hard (and unfair at times too) that I am not able to live my life raising all my kids together each day. That I meet new people and they don’t know I am really a mother of 4! That they didn’t know of Poppy and the things she has brought us in her short lived life.
But in spite of that pain, I also know this month is going to be filled with many a lovely moment too and new adventures, new opportunities and new life, as I start my counselling placement, go to a wedding and have some family time. I am planning a vintage tea party for the elderly I work with and a seaside trip too. I will be going to the theatre and who knows what with friends and family.
Life isn’t always rosy and pain often crops up again and again. I have learnt since then, and many a time that life has its joys and sadness’s intertwined, and as I feel that pain I am grateful I can still look forward to what March 2020 has for me as Spring time comes and things change once more into something new.
