The Ordinary Moments 36/52 – Daily Blessings

A few days ago I met up with an old friend and spoke of where I am at.  It was hard to talk about how close everything is getting, things I still haven’t been able to deal with and generally hard stuff about life right now and leading up to the 1 year Anniversary – She said to me “I’ll always remember you told me to look for a joyful or blessed moment every day” and it got me thinking A LOT (as she isn’t the only one to have reminded me of this recently).

As I reflected on this something that was said to me (but came from me) I remembered that often we get soooo bombarded with the hard times in life we fail sometimes to spot the joy or the little blessings sent to us to make it bearable. We don’t always see that there is some sunlight through the clouds or that we have been given things or people to aid us, or been given the tools to get through the rough spots and things that will prevent us becoming bitter because they remind us there is good in the world and good people in life. I realise, especially with some people in my life they are not given to us to “get it”, but rather give us normality and refuge from the awful reality we face. They give us a lot of fun and laughter and keep life happy.
Since we found out that Poppy wouldn’t live very long (if at all after birth) and found out that she had Edwards Syndrome, people near and far have sent and done things for us that have blown us away an yet have made each day manageable and shown us that we are not forgotten. They have given us their time, comforting words, friendship and practical things to bring a little sunshine into our life that particular day.

As I approach the anniversary of loosing Poppy and as things start to feel really hard again I have seen an increase of these little blessings in my life from the people we know. It seems we have been able to enjoy extra fun times with our families and laugh and play so hard with them all. We have received food, treats, cards and packages, and so this weeks Ordinary moments is really just a list of everything over the last year that has made every day of living with Infant loss more bearable. It is a great big “THANK YOU” to people near and far that have done special things (big and small) to support and love us and to make our Ordinary daily struggles into Ordinary moments of gratitude, peace and hope.

I love that it is an Ordinary moment for us to have these little specks of happiness given to us and so with out further a do I wish to share with you what a year of thoughtfulness and Ordinary moments of daily blessings looks like (in no particular order), and perhaps it will inspire you to pay it forward and be the light in someone else’s storm:

1. Biscuits left on our doorstep
2. Baked Goods
3. Treat packages
4. Dinner made for us 
5. …and brought round for to freeze for the hard days
6. …and send for us to make in a big box incase we couldnt shop
7. filling the fridge (more than once)
8. Filling our cupboards with healthy things
9. Dinner Bought for us from M&S and take out 
10. Restaurant Vouchers 
11. Flowers done for the funeral- FREE
12. Photography at birth – FREE
13. Coffin made – FREE
14. Assistance with general burial stuff – FREE
15. Cinema Vouchers
16. Poppy related gifts – Including jewellery, scarf, hankie, willow tree ornaments, brooches, clothing
17. Emails with helpful reading material and messages of LOVE 
18. Texts checking in/sharing the love
19. House cleaned (more than once)
20. Laundry done
21. Childcare – for over night / several nights and only a few hours and Every SANDS meeting
22. A cross stitch cushion
23. 2 different cross stitch pictures
24. A scrap booked Family Tree 
25. Paper cutting framed quote
26. Lovely Stationary left on the doorstep 
27. Visits from lots of caring people at home
28. Visits from People at hospital and the hospice to see her and us 
29. Thoughtful Quotes sent on FB/text/Pinterest and email 
30. Letters
31. Cards 
32. People coming over at the drop of a hat to talk and listen and cry
33. Friends giving A LOT of time to talk and listen generally
34. Flowers
35. Chocolates 
36. Breakfast brought over to start the day off right
37. LOOOOOONNNNGGGGG phone calls
38. New Scarves for me
39. Books bought about loss 
40. Lunch dates – often paid for
41. A long walk and lunch out
42. A lift to my 1st SANDS
43. Lifts to go out with the Kids when Naths had the car
44. Outdoor walks and talks 
45. Asking how we are with a desire to really know 
46. Letting me pop over to sit and talk, watch my kids whilst I rest and make us food
47. Supporting my endeavours
48. Letting us hang and the hospice for some peace and refuge
49. Free bereavement counselling 
50. Family fun to escape
51. Dancing and singing in the car to laugh together 
52. More treats brought over 
53. Knitted/Crocheted Blankets
54. Extended Compassionate Leave 
55. Hugs 
56. A day out – lots of days out 
57. New Pjs because i’d probs be spending a lot of time in them
58. Not being mad for being let down because it was too hard
59. Massages
60. Nails/pamper days 
61. Spa days 
62. Craft box for the kids to make indoor days more bearable
63. Lovely toiletries
64. Starbucks voucher 
65. Boots Voucher 
66. Burial dress sewn for poppy
67. Inviting us for dinner and play dates
68. Facebook chats to ask how things are 
69. Not avoiding me at a play group 
70. Talking at playgroup about it at length 
71. Sharing blogs and successes to raise awareness with me 
72. Helping me start a blog and understand social media to give me a voice, focus and share the story 
73. Releasing chinese lanterns with us on a dark windy christmas day night, so that we could include Poppy at Christmas
74. Having Pictures in your home to show she is not forgotten in the family
75. Making Poppies cake – FREE 
76. Sending general lovely things for the kids to play with and dress up in 
77. Sending a list of FREE places that will be joyful to go together 
78. Buying flowers to put on Poppies grave
79. Sitting and helping me with the kids 
80. Disciplining the kids when we are out because I cannot even function
81. Helping to remind me of everything that needs preparing for school, because I cannot remember (because my mind isn’t functioning)
82. Giving me opportunities to build up my confidence again 
83. understanding and not judging when the day is hard 
84. Helping us to have things to laugh about 
85. Making Memory Boxes with the kids
86. Travelling miles for the funeral 
87. A poppy Painting and love note 
88. Always asking, Always remembering, Not being afraid 

I might rant and talk of how hard this is and that’s because it is and because I need to share that side with the world and help them to see what this journey is like. But, I am also very aware and very grateful for all everyone has done and tries to do… THANK YOU for being our special Ordinary moments, because of you our life can still be fun, full and joyful.

Here are some of the previously mentioned Ordinary moments from this last week where we again have been blessed to see the thoughtfulness and kindness of others to help us get through and the amazing fun our families bring!