Hello 32 weeks pregnant! I still don’t look massive and I am still thinking I am somewhere in the 20’s, but evidently I am not, and this pregnancy, now on the downward track is going at an ever increasing pace…This week my nesting really kicked in and I washed, dried and folded all of our newborn baby attire. I’ve separated what I have wanted to take to hospital and chose her 1st and then coming home outfits, and then realised that this is actually really happening and very soon too!
So right now (because of the diabetes diagnosis) we have no more than 6 weeks to wait until meeting our newest member. It all feels a little crazy and yet wonderful too! Its mad to reflect on Megans Pregnancy and to think that I was going into labour at this point (yes really) and ended up having a weeks stay in hospital trying to keep her cooking whilst receiving steroids for her lungs just in case! How different every pregnancy is and every child too, yet despite all the emotion and worry attached to this one, I still can report that it feels the same level of excitement about meeting her, preparing baby clothes and imaging her in them, as was in all of my previous ones and that helps me feel normal and assured that things can work out just fine!
I am feeling tired and pretty uncomfortable now and on days when we have been busy I notice the awkward waddle! I also have a few tight muscles in my back, making it more difficult to sit comfortably on the sofa, at dinner and in the car.
Emotion wise things are on the same level…I still worry, have the odd dream about things going wrong and sometimes just find all the prep too much and take a step back. But as these anxieties haven’t increased, I am fine to go at my pace and know its part of the score of a pregnancy after loss.
Still loving crunchy textures, though these have dramatically declined in consumption due to the carb counting. I think the main dominating foods I am after is anything sweet and “naughty”, but I know its just because I can’t have it and therefore I want it.
The biggest woe for me is most definitely this blooming diabetes! If you want to know more read the rant about it here.
This coming week we also have a growth scan to look forward to, or maybe not depending on what is happening in there. These still fill me with a level of anxiety despite having regular movements, and usually take me a few minutes to enjoy seeing baby and not be guarded with worry of them telling me something bad, again accepting its just part of the score. I am hoping they don’t tell me shes getting HUGE and will need to come even earlier! I am though, despite my fears and sadness, overall still loving making our plans and researching the best baby things for our lifestyle/home. I find it huge progress to have actually committed to buying baby things and as I say it has been fun and feels good. I am enjoying holding tiny things and imagining a sweet baby in them, in our arms and in our lives. Keep cooking baby girl, don’t spring anything on us like your sisters and we can’t wait to see your gorgeous face in about 6 weeks time! Ahhhhhhhhhh!! Please excuse any emotions from here on out…