After the devo meeting we had had on Tuesday I woke up Wednesday and just felt it wasn’t right. Life is for living, not left to die “comfortably” without doing anything as they were suggesting. We are very religious and believe in the sanctity of life. We know God is the one that gives and takes life and by not even trying to sustain her life or assist her fight for it, we were perhaps allowing that to be taken too soon.
We decided to write them a letter with our wishes for her to receive the basic care and life support that any sick baby would have (breathing aid, feeding tubes and cardiac drugs)and then if it didn’t help or she showed no improvement, take it away and allow her to pass in her own time. But what if by some chance it did and we never knew… she could live life for a few more days, perhaps weeks, now wouldn’t that be GREAT!
Today has been absolutely fantastic…yes really! We were at the park before 9am and then a few odd “To Do’s” – during this time I received a phone call from the hospital saying they had received our letter and understood what it was we were asking for (at last) and that it will be discussed with Neonatal and cardiac specialists tomorrow to put a plan together. I will also be able to have a scan in 2 weeks and look at her progress and talk about induction to prevent still birth. I.COULD.NOT.BE.HAPPIER!!! I feel now we are giving her every chance to live her life and the rest is in Gods hands. I feel at peace knowing this is the right move and that now she will lead the care by how she responds/fights, not them with the usual protocols!
I was kept in this great mood as we headed to Ilkly this afternoon to swim in the river with some of the fam. What a brilliant time the kids had with their cousins in the water and making mud pies and digging channels. So great to see! The water was refreshing and I loved being with everyone, chilling in the sun! Megan swam around with no hesitation and im still scrubbing the mud off Ethan.
My favourite part was playing with Megs in the river; swinging her around and dunking her and laughing together as she shouted “gen mummy..gen”. I felt so happy, blessed and grateful that we can live life and have fun despite this hard thing we are going through with the baby. I briefly felt sad that I would not get these moments with her but was ok with that because I know we are doing all in our power for her to live her brief and special life.