There are certain times in life, when as a bereaved mother, you are suddenly presented with an opportunity to be able to do something for your disceased child. These moments, whilst lovely are also somewhat heart wrenching as you wish and reflect on wanting to be in a position of being able to do more, but then grateful to be getting the opportunity to just do something.
Easter this year has become one of those moments. And for a while now, I have been very much looking forward to Good Friday so that both kids were at home and together we could make an Easter garden for Poppy. I wanted it to not only be a pretty garden for spring, to cheer up her spot, but I wanted to tie in Easter and the hope of new life, and so together we did her a “Resurrection garden”. Lovely plants, some stones to show the path isn’t always smooth, a little pot to show an empty tomb and that life goes on, and instead of crosses – windmills (for a little more beauty for a baby girl). Megan and I bought the stuff Thursday and then we got to work Friday afternoon.
I love that we tied in Easter, to give joy and hope and help the kids reflect on her being alive and look forward to a reunion. We have always taught our kids the Easter story from our Christian beliefs and whilst we do love more than most things to indulge in chocolate for weeks before and all of Easter weekend, it is also important that they get why we have Easter (more so now their sister has passed away).
I want them to focus on, and this garden we did together reflects that, that death is not the end. To think so would destroy me, but to hope it isn’t because of Easter and Jesus Christ makes sense and really gives me strength to enjoy life despite the recurring pain of loss, it helps me enjoy being able to do things here with my living kids and together for my parted kid, and it keeps me going and helps me to see the beauty all around us still.
I am feeling pleased to be able to take it to her today, to include her in our Easter adventures and to enjoy the feeling of usefulness as a mother to her, if even for a moment. Happy Easter