Flowers speak so many things don’t they? They are a gift of love, of appreciation, of condolences and comfort, of congratulations, and generally just to make a room more pretty. I love receiving flowers because they make me feel thought of and always look so lovely and they never fail to make me smile however big or small!

But for me having fresh flowers in my life and home are more than just something I hope for on special occasions, rather they are one of my must haves for a feeling of joy and well being in daily life! They are a weekly (or fortnightly) gift to myself to brighten my home and lift my mood. I have my favourites (Tulips), but whatever flowers they are, provided they are fresh, they bring much loved colours and happiness to any corner of my home and life.

I often get messages from people asking what they can do for Mothers who sadly have lost their babies. I always find it so touching that they want to do something (anything), just to let them know they are thought of and loved at such an awful time! Whilst I have a whole post worth of ideas for this (yet to be published), I often want to also remind the friends and family of bereaved parents that help initially is always there in abundance, but it’s as time moves on that it’s also important you reach out. It’s a journey that you need to be in for the long run, because often as time passes, naturally people begin to forget that year after year there are certain dates that just make it all raw again. They forget that one of the “biggies” each year where support is needed is always Mother’s day!

Mother’s day is such a lovely day when you have kids around you or in your life. It’s so exciting to get the homemade cards, the bunches of flowers, chocolates, smellies, treats or Jewellery. It’s a beautiful, heartwarming thing to be remembered and shown appreciation for the love and work you put into raising a family and keeping a home.

But what about the mothers without their kids? The ones that never got to bring their babies home? Where is their acknowledgement and appreciation on a day dedicated to Mothers?

Give the Gift of Flowers

Flowers are a great gift at any time of year, they are a fantastic gift for our mothers, and especially as a gift to a mother without her child on Mother’s day. This date in the year for bereaved mothers is one of dread and anxiousness. Its another reminder of what they are missing, and it’s a day that feels really hard. Yes they are a mother…deep in their hearts every single day, but on the surface to the world they are seemingly not. It’s a day that screams to them “you have no child here… you don’t get to mother that baby”! For them mothers day lacks the hand drawn pictures and cards from your child, the scribbling name next to the others and the lovely treats chosen by the little ones. For them there is no acknowledgement of what it means to be a mother.

They miss out on the gifts, the cards and the brunch. But most importantly they are missing out on the little hands around their necks and gentle kisses on their cheeks – they are missing every tear, “I love you”, and cuddle that comes with being a mother.

My suggestion to anyone reading this, that knows of a mother that is facing mother’s day without their baby, is to send them something. Yes…why not send them a gift? And something so easy is a gift of flowers. You can order from the comfort of your home, with a personalised message and send them anywhere in the country or world even!

By sending a gift of flowers to a mother on Mother’s day you are acknowledging who she is on a day that seems more than ever to remind her of what she has lost. You are sending colour to her life and a vase of happiness to her home. It shows her that she is thought of, and her child is remembered! It brightens her home and lifts her heart, and helps her to take comfort in the knowledge that she and her child are not far from thoughts of others (as is sometimes the case in everyday life).

They are gift that will instantly lift the mood of the person you have sent them to, and bring positive emotional feelings to their day as you say “I remember who you are – Happy Mother’s day”!

Prestige Flowers have as many varieties of Mother’s day bouquets as there are mothers, so you are bound to find the perfect thing for that special mummy! They can be ordered in advance or last minute, and my favourite thing – they have some great offers on including Free Vases or Chocolates with some of their bouquets, and £10 -15 off some of them too.

So whether it is for your own mother, the mother of your kids, or a friend or relative that might be struggling this Mothers day because of loss – Why not send them a bright and beautiful gift of flowers right to their door. Let them know they are remembered this year, and help them feel acknowledged as a mother this mother’s day!

I am still very much enjoying the stunning bouquet that was sent to me last week with a few additions of a bear, vase and chocolates! When I saw them sat on my front step it was such a joyful delivery and has brought a lot of happiness to my home each time I see them – it made me think of all of those mother’s that might not get this this year!

*In Collaboration with Prestige Flowers

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I stood with a full heart watching Ethan’s Mother’s day assembly this morning. Full of pride for my little boy and for each of his class mates, for their talents and hard work. I was full of joy for the beauty of the whole thing and for my little boy. And then one line, in one fun little song completely caught me off guard, and before I know it there it was – Grief…just around the corner! It wasn’t just that moment, its being brewing all week, but it reminded me of how fragile my heart is.

In this case the trigger was something about how mothers keep them safe (or safe and warm I can’t 100% remember) and that was it. Yes that was true, mothers do keep their children safe, and yet one of mine died. They keep them warm and yet I cannot because she isn’t here. Was I a good mother to her? Whilst I no longer blame myself for what happened, there are always the questions of did I do enough? Did I fight for her life as much as I thought I was doing? Could I have had her born alive if I had have done more?

The majority of this week I have fought it… kicked back and tried to escape the anguish of grief. I tried. I promise I tried so hard this year to be excited for a mothers day with my new baby and my gorgeous 3 living kids. I tried incredibly hard to focus on my blessings, our new chapter with our beauties and more joys. I have survived 2 already as a bereaved mother…surely it gets easier to face? But no..apparently not, and no amount of positive attitude can counteract the natural emotions of grief that come from your baby dying, and the blatant reminder of that on mothers day that once again leave you plagued with an aching heart.

Once again I am here feeling low with reflections on stillbirth and a little angry about so many things, but mainly that the anger of grief and passing time means no one will really talk about it anymore. It isn’t personal, it is an effect of grief.

I am mad that she died.

I am mad that I couldn’t save her.

I am mad that I failed as a mother.

I am mad I didn’t see or hold her alive.

I am mad that I couldn’t have more time.

I am mad that I now have to be the weird one with a dead baby.

I am mad that however much time passes, grief can always catch me off guard as its just around the corner.

I am mad that few people understand and that I still need moments to talk.

I am mad that the people that were there; that I invited into my vulnerable life and saw, and wept with us… that helped me, seem to have moved on and no longer have the energy, time or desire to listen to the emotions of a mother whose baby is never coming back.

I am mad I expect more from people when I wish I had no expectations.

I am mad with myself that I can’t control my emotions and get angry and just need to talk.

I am mad that grief changed me so much and I can’t go back because of what is in my soul.

I am mad that people think I should behave in a certain way over my loss when they have not been through this.

I am mad about so many things from Drs, to how I was treated and yet I rejoice she is ours and remember how lovely and yet heartbreaking it was to hold her briefly.

Then like always it came to a head and I was able to figure it out…why am I so mad this week? So upset again and so frustrated about all of these things still? Well this year is a glimpse of what 2 years ago was supposed to look like. This year I have 3 children and I once again live with a glimpse of what I really lost. I grieve what should have been,and how it never was.  This year I see what I missed out on and all that was taken from life when she passed away. I clearly remember I have 4 and one is missing. My would be little tot isn’t here…I am incomplete. Her beautiful baby sister is here now and they do not get to grow up together like the others do. Each day I am reminded of what they are missing and have missed and what we have and are missing too. Each day I sit at home with a baby, clueless as to what to do and a little lonely too, and I am reminded I missed a whole stage of life.

Each time I see friends and family with babies and tots together I see how life was supposed to look and I can’t help but wonder if my life would be more happening than it is right now.

I just feel like a first time mum again struggling to know my place and finding new motherhood all a little lonesome. I feel like I need to make new friends with babies because as much as I love random meet ups and catch ups, they are lovely, but they are sporadic, and the majority of the time I am a bit lonely! I walk loads or sit at home because I fear baby groups – why? because I fear the reaction of telling people she isn’t my 1st, but rather my 4th.

I really wish I could give you a glimpse into my heart. I wish you could understand how possible it is for joy and sadness to exist together. I wish you could each understand my crazy desire and need to just talk about her and how hard it is some days, and understand that having a new baby is brilliant but hasn’t made me all better… I wish you could feel how my arms are full with beautiful children and my heart is full too, and yet it feels so empty and achy too, because grief is always just around the corner. Grief triggers are just around the corner, and I am reminded far too often that being a mother in my world means I barely feel like I am doing any good as I mother through pain, grief and far too many moments of feeling like I’m not even me!

I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, I want them to take time to listen and try to connect with my heart. I don’t want pity, just patience with me and an understanding that grief is often just around the corner.

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This Monday at our SANDS meeting, one of my friends and I decided it might be nice to do a craft with everyone. With the approach of mothers day this weekend, it just tends to be a more sensitive time for bereaved mothers and we find that crafts not only help us create (hello therapy), but our poor skills in that department also mean we tend to laugh together along the way as we share what’s in our hearts. We thought that tealight holders would be a nice thing to do as then we could all light them to remember our babies on mothers day.

I am sharing this with you because whilst it was something I did in my journey of loss with my fellow bereaved mothers, I also think that on a general scale it will make a lovely craft to do with kids as a gift for someone. Ethan actually asked if he could make one when he saw it yesterday morning and I then thought what a lovely activity to do with them too. The thrifty lass inside of me got to thinking a homemade tealight holder would make a nice and inexpensive gift for mums, Grandma’s, aunts or teacher’s for Mothers day or any occasion really and would be so personal. So here you go –

Homemade Tealight Holders

You will need 

*A glass or jam jar  (these were 50p from asda)

*Glass pens

*Embellishments (we used washi tape and stick on diamantes but lace and ribbons too would work)

*Tea lights (available all over, though the supermarkets have some lovely scented ones).

Then just go for it…Draw patterns, images, Lettering. Maybe add some tape or sparkles. Maybe some burlap and lace…

We all chose to do them differently with hearts and quotes drawn on some, to me with a letter P for poppy. One of the dad’s even got involved with tape and lots of sparkle for his wife. I loved how it was just personal to each of us for our baby, and I imagine when Ethan and Megs have a go they’ll be different again.

They are/were super easy and look pretty cute, so why not just go for it… Make someone a little tealight holder with a scented tealight. They will be lovely, cheap and greatly appreciated i’m sure.

Run Jump Scrap!
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Motherhood is by far the hardest “job” I have ever done. Life with mini humans is far from a walk in the park, and each stage brings its own challenges and stresses, as well as with each one of my kids bringing their own little quirks and personalities into the mix of family life.

Life as a mother is also fun though and the best thing I have ever done; it is beautiful, and is rich to life, but with all great things comes a lot of hard work. Yes it really is hard and every now and then we certainly need a treat, a little pamper and an opportunity to rejuvenate from the stresses and busyness of it all.

I truly love being a mum, but I also welcome these small breaks along the way when things have just been intense or demoralising, and where I can have some me time. Whilst Mothers day is certainly about appreciation for the mothers in our lives, I think its also an opportunity to let them have a rest and a treat too (please Mr Smith), so I was delighted to be asked recently by Hunkemöller to try out some of their new wellness collection on the run up to Mothers day to unwind and relax in my busy mum life.

Prices start from £5.00 and run all the way up to £50.00 (with averages around a tenner) so there is something for every budget and is good value. I chose things that really felt like my style and would make me feel joyful around a time that for me personally tends to feel sad, and so went with the eyes make up bag, The fig & Green tea Candle, Shower gel and scrub glove, and here’s why.

Make up Bag

This make up bag caught my eye immediately (no pun intended) as the pattern was just so quirky and cool. Its different to anything I have seen before. It’s a little smaller than I hoped, but for £9 is perfect for the essentials to fit in most handbags for the funky mum in your life.

Candle

My oh my this candle smells A-MAZING and who doesn’t love a lovely candle for mother’s day? The scent is strong and a good one but by no means over powering. It will fragerence your home even when not lit and smells quality and fresh! I love that it is quite plain with a cute quote on it, meaning it will fit well in most interiors flawlessly. The scent really is divine and makes me want to close my eyes and drift off somewhere. I look forward to having this in my life and home.

Shower Gel and Scrub Glove

I love a good scrub in the shower, especially after those days that have been complete madness, and these items make for the perfect combo. The shower gel smells sweet and a bit posh (you can tell it’s from a spa range) and the glove has the right balance of softness to scrubby feel. I am happy with them both and together they are great to get rid of dead skin and leaving you feeling renewed and smelling like a lovely soft mummy flower! For £15 I think even these together make for a lovely quality gift for someone!

There are so many pretty things available at Hunkemöller for mums to have a little treat and pamper this Mothers day. I would say their stuff is perfect for younger stylish mums (like me? ha), as the little quotes and quirky prints make them feel really cool and a bit trendy. Other things I would have loved are the Spa slippers – Hello!I think they’re just so cool for the summer and a little bit different! Also it would be the scrub & moisturiser to go together with the shower gel – it all smells so nice I think the whole range would just be so lovely for a full on pamper.

So whether its Mothers Day you just want to get them something for a birthday or anniversary, Hunkemöller has some beautiful and pretty things for lovely ladies across the board and especially in their wellness collection.

*Thankyou to Hunkemöller for gifting these items to me for a mother’s day treat in return for an honest review. Pictures and thoughts are all mine minus the last one! 

Family Fever
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