I wanted to get some pictures this month that felt like Autumn and also represented our new life in the country. Whilst not taken in our village, they were taken last Saturday when we visited a fairly local windmill/museusm and I like them because they are the first weekend this month we’ve been out together and felt light and more relaxed after a very intense month.

September has been such a random one; we’ve had the kids back at school, new clubs and hobbies started, baby groups and are all back into the term time routines. Then we’ve had Poppy’s anniversaries, a family wedding and finally managed to squeeze in a family day out and some country walks too. As you read this I am hopefully on my way to London (if I made the 5.30am train) for Britmum’s live 2017 (a blogging conference) where I hope to meet some of you and other blogger friends and influencers…I can’t believe how different the month end feels to 30 days ago when it started. Like I say, its been so random but we have made it, taking with us lots of new memories and friends, whilst having opportunity to reflect and talk about the hard aspects of the month.

September is a month I don’t particularly enjoy anymore and find it to be a tough one for us right from the start really with it holding all of the anniversaries of losing Poppy. I feel like the majority of the month, especially once the kids return to school, is spent preparing ourselves emotionally for them. By the 14th we have her death date, induction was on the 15th and birth date the 16th. A week later on the 22nd its then her funeral/burial date (which in someways is worse as there is nothing to celebrate there). As a result of that for a couple of weeks, the majority of that time just feels incredibly heavy and sad, and even anxious. The build up is hard and then before we know it, its all over again and we’re left felling a little dull and shell shocked.

This year we struggled with the fact that Nathans gorgeous cousin was getting married the same day as Poppy’s birthday and I felt so torn between my love and excitement for them, and my heart ache and one day for my daughter. We talked over it a lot and wondered what the best thing was to do, but in the end we followed our hearts and were glad to have attended with family and friends and celebrate their love and our entire family generally. It felt lovely and was an opportunity to scoff plenty of chocolate and cakes! On the evening we had a meal out with my family and then released balloons on the cliff tops at the light house again, in the morning we decorated her grave.

This year definitely has felt harder for some reason and has thrown us a few curve balls that have been very hard to navigate through grief, so in some ways I am so glad September is finally over… in other ways I can’t believe how fast its gone and how quickly we have moved away from the month that’s mostly about her, it feel weird. Lets just as we enter October I am almost 100% certain I’ve gained a fair few pounds over the last few weeks with all of the rubbish I have indulged in to comfort myself in my sadness and anxiety and will welcome some normality and excitement with Ethan’s birthday and our 8th wedding anniversary!

September has been a funny old month, a very hard month, and a month that has seen us settle into life back at school in the village. I am grateful for the little family we have, and the life we have together now – it feels so much nicer!! I love that in our little home and lives we can each be loved and accepted in our sadness as well as the joys, the highs and the lows and sometimes through the sheer pain that comes with September. I am grateful that whatever happens around us in the month, we have each other and together will always remember our little Poppy and that September meant we got to meet her.

In September we are Grateful for

* Kind friends
*Too many treats
*Time to reflect and remember Poppy
*The people who talk of her and ask of her
*Our new village and lovely neighbourhood
*New school clubs
*Living in the gorgeous countryside and having peaceful things around us

 

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Life this year has been moving along at a steady pace and has felt fine, but then suddenly June seems to have just gone by in a flash, and I can’t quite believe that here we are already in July! We are feeling joyful, blessed and incredibly happy in our new chapter and already seeing many more reasons why it was (and is) a good choice for us!

June for us of course will go down in the family history books – it has been massive (and therefore super busy too)! We sold our first home in Leeds, moved back to East Yorkshire, and moved in with Grandma all in the first weekend. The following Monday the kids started a new school in the village we’re moving to (which they love), we attended the funeral of my awesome Granddad, and then Megs turned 5! Alice sprouted some more teeth and conquered climbing the stairs, and finally somewhere in there we managed to squeeze in a couple of beach trips and Go Ape too!

Despite all of that craziness, sadness, farewells and lots of adventures, we still failed to get a family pic along the way and so this months photos were quickly taken on the lawn at Grandma’s by one of my sister in law’s! I actually really love them though and as they capture this month perfectly – fun, crazy and a new back drop for us!

This isn’t our permanent home, but rather a pit stop along the way whilst we wait to exchange on the new house.¬†Originally the plan was to be here for 2 weeks, which for one reason or another has quickly become 4 (and soon to be more like 6!!). We are of course eager to get to the new house, but we are happy here too and it works just fine! Ethan gardens most mornings before school with Nathan’s mum and we have loved (mostly) school runs on the trains and big family dinners!

Therefore I look at us all in these shots and see that they are ideal despite being last minute, because this is our current home and a view we wake up every morning and look out on. This is where the kids play morning and night, learn from and hang with Grandma, and where we started our chapter in East Yorkshire. They mean we can look back on June 2017 as not only one of craziness (and tiredness for daddy), but the month we lived with Grandma!

We are loving our new chapter though and whilst the move to our new house is taking longer than anticipated and we are still hoping for a new Job for Nath, over all it’s all good. I feel way more relaxed and free, and we all feel happy and content. That sounds weird saying that, and I feel weird writing it as I loved Leeds and my life there too, but I can see that life here is already way better for us all and that we definitely made the right decision.

Things are happening that I never even considered before and just the other weekend as I kicked back in the sea (and again as we drove through the countryside) I realised how much better and free my life felt now. I feel tired still but more relaxed… I even commented to Nathan just last weekend; “is it weird that I feel like we’re always on holiday but this is actually our life now?“, and at that point we realised it was what living the dream felt like. Of course there are still stresses and exhaustion from life, and so many things we need to sort…the days are as mad as always (especially with taking the train most days to school and Nathan still commuting to Leeds), but this is all temporary and the weekends spent on the beach, seeing family lots (both for hang outs and midweeks play dates), lots of lovely scenery, date night picnic’s in the meadows and having the kids even more happy and settled in school, are all worth the trade off!

In just 3 weeks we will have a 1 year old, be in our new home (at last) and the kids will be breaking up for the Summer holiday’s. We have way more craziness (and decorating) ahead, but I am excited to start sprucing up our new home and spending the Summer exploring our new county with the fam!

Goodbye June – you’ve brought huge and wonderful changes to our family and we are enjoying every moment.

In June we are grateful for

* Grandma letting us move in
*Public Transport
*Our lovely new Church family
*Lots of sunshine
*Beach days
*A great new school and Community
*Megan and her presence in our family
*Being blessed with a fabulously brilliant Granddad and having the opportunity to remember his amazing life and example.

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I am honestly really sad to be saying goodbye to February. Any month that ends with an excessive amount of pancakes, in my mind is a great month. It seems like last year February was such a blur, and in contrast to the sadness we experienced then, this month has been so good to our family.


It seems like it was ages ago when we took these family pics on our day to York, and yet it was only 2 weeks ago. The sun was shining brightly, the weather mild and it was a deliciously perfect family day out (until we decided to get the bus during rush hour with a hungry baby!). Nathan took the whole week off as annual leave and it was  one of the best half term breaks we have had in ages. It was jam packed with adventures and days out, and was just great to do so many lovely things together and enjoy the break from school runs and the usual madness of term time life!

I have decided to do our family updates slightly differently from now on. In addition to my brief ramblings on summing up the month, I have also decided I would like to share the things we are grateful for each month too instead of the “what we are loving”. I guess it incorporates those things naturally, but I want to use these monthly pictures and family updates as an opportunity to count our blessings too. So…

This month we are grateful for:

Selling our House…and that we are buying another (hello more space)

Press passes to Scarborough Sealife and the opportunity to see all manner of creatures!

The opportunity to celebrate my Grandad turning 87

Our visit to York Chocolate Story

Annual leave and having Daddy home for a week

Grandma having Alice after her swim so we could all play/race together on the slides

So whilst I am excited to say hello to spring, to have lighter nights, see new life in nature and have way more adventures and huge changes coming our way in March/April, I am sad to bid farewell to February. It has been amazing for our family and I have thoroughly enjoyed all we have done together and the wonderful opportunities we have through my blog.

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I could jump for joy to be entering a new month, because whilst February now holds some emotional anniversaries in our family, I am still rather looking forward to a half term, a shorter month and the prospect of Spring on the horizon. January in a nut shell has sucked; the kids have dragged their feet and being late on far too many occasions for school, we have barely been anywhere fun, and although I loved sale season, I have spent the majority of it feeling rather melancholy!
Despite this obvious lull we have been in following the joys of December, we have still managed to attend a couple of family parties, finally got on top of the house and had some new lino in the bathroom too, and we have been on several road trips to the coast to see my Grandad who hasn’t been doing great. Other than that, when I look back on January I see that I just haven’t been feeling it in life, and none of us have really had much motivation. We have simply spent a huge chunk of time snuggled and hibernating from the bitterly cold January weather and enjoying movies and lots of drawing.

Our pictures this month were some last minute (and rather grainy) family selfies, that are very much reflective of our indoor habits.

Nathan is Loving

*Seeing Wolves Play in Barnsley
*Getting new Lino in the Bathroom
*Seeing all of his family at the reunion

I am Loving

*All of my bargains from the January Sales
*That I had time to sew Alice a skirt
*That the house is organised
*Grandad being better
*Finishing Gilomore girls

Ethan is Loving

*Getting star of the week in Street Dance
*Using his art set from Christmas
*Having disco’s
*Playing Lego with his cousins
*Eating pink crisps (Prawn cocktail)

Megs is Loving

*Getting Star writer in Assembly
*Dancing at family parties and eating all the treats
*A cinema trip with mummy to see Ballerina
*Having sleepovers at Grandmas’s

Alice is Loving

*Trying so many new flavours in her weaning adventures
*Her play gym
*Sensory socials!

So yes…we have spent a lot of time indoors, and very little on our usual adventures and trips. But as I think about that, I can’t help but smile now and just love the fact that we have created a home together where we have wanted to be!

I say it often that this house isn’t what I really want anymore, but it is still (and has been for 6years now) our little home filled with love. Its a place where we all feel safe and have our treasures and things. It is a place where we can be ourselves and where we can laugh our heads off at movies and jokes together… enjoy food and treats with one another, immerse ourselves in stories and hide from the outside world/weather. It’s a place where we can be silly, play, sing and dance, and I love that because of that whatever the day brings, and however hard of a day it is, we can all come together at night to eat, chat, pray, sing, laugh and cuddle. And so I am grateful for a place to call home and a family to share it with. I am grateful that whilst it wasn’t the most eventful of months, that we all felt on the same wave length and chose to spend a lot of time together in our little home this January!

 

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