At 16 weeks pregnant I went for a glucose tolerance test to screen for gestational diabetes as I had had it with Ethan back in 2010 in my 1st pregnancy. Thankfully it came back negative and was one less thing to worry about in this pregnancy and off I went. Fast forward to 28 weeks pregnant and the test was to be repeated as standard as many women develop it in the third trimester. Megs and I spent a whole morning at the hospital having tests and appointments and after a few days of nothing I assumed it was another “all clear” result, only it wasn’t and last week I was informed that my second lot of bloods came back high and I now have gestational diabetes…que emotional pregnant crying and my new ordinary!
Because of the pregnancy hormones present in my body it means my body cannot produce enough insulin to meet its extra needs, thus resulting in high levels of glucose in my blood and potentially causing a fatty baby or other health problems for her. It means I have to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day, especially before bed as otherwise my liver will produce extra glucose at night to compensate meaning my blood reading will be high in the morning, and it also means that I have moments throughout the day (four times) where I do this blood testing and then record the readings. My new ordinary is needles pricking my fingers, more scans, appointments with a dietician and obstetrician, no more Ben and Jerry binges or chocolate bars, halving my pasta portions and counting the grams of carbs in each meal! Yes my new ordinary for the next 7 weeks is life as a type 2 diabetic, and whilst this does make me sad, is quite demanding of a task and worrying too, I am rather impressed with the new “trendy” pink casing my monitor has and pink bag for all the stuff, as well as the prospect of curbing my weight gain from having a very low sugar diet! I was lucky enough, for whatever reason, to not have this in either pregnancy with Megan or Poppy and that was such a relief because it is so demanding and a lot to remember. It certainly makes me feel blessed for my good health usually.
My 1st clinic was on Thursday…I was there for over 2hrs (well almost 3 come to think of it) meeting the obstetrician, diabetic nurse, midwife and dietician. We talked about my diet, carbs, GI, more appointments, early inductions, high and low blood sugars and the risks to our baby. It was all stuff I was already aware of, but also good for a refresher and good to meet the team. I really am hopeful that as I only have a few weeks to go that I can monitor it all with diet alone and not need to go on meds for it, but at the moment no matter what I eat the readings seem to be coming out high and that’s all rather disheartening.
I admit that whilst I joke about a bag, pink casing on the monitor and less weight gain, in reality I have been really upset about this diagnosis and cried several times with frustration from it. With Ethan I just took it in my stride and it seemed so easy to maintain my glucose levels and I didn’t really worry about the “dangers” of having gestational diabetes for me or him. But this time round, and like I say its already proving hard to control even being strict and this makes me really fed up. No matter how many times friends and family tell me not to worry about it, that to me is also nigh impossible to do. This time I am more than aware of pregnancy complications and the effect they have on long term life. I know all about still birth and no matter how small the risk of these things, there IS a risk factor and when you have been in the minority for any risks to a growing baby its hard to not worry about that chance of things not being well or going smoothly. This is tough daily and goes against my desire to stay away from hospitals and doctors as much as possible. Its rained all over my ideas of a home birth or low key delivery as I suddenly have been flung back into a “high risk” category, and I just feel like I never get a break when having kids…I just wanted an easy pregnancy, but its not to be so.
I am grateful for the extra care but not for what I have to get that care, and the more I think of how Ethans delivery panned out with early inductions and high risk issues, the more I am certain that I want to elect a section. I want something in all of this to be controlled and I want this baby here quickly and safely. I don’t want the extra worries that come from this on top of what I already have, and I don’t want another induction that turns into an emergency situation. Its far from whatever I thought Id want but it also seems to make sense to us both for this baby, for this pregnancy and under all of these circumstances. I just desperately want a healthy baby safely here.
How quickly our ordinary can shift paths to a new one!