I don’t know about you, but I really love this time of year of newness, ambition and a clean slate.
I love the time we have to reflect on what has been, what we have learnt. lost and achieved, and what lies ahead and what can be created. I like that we can be whoever we want to be through goals and work and that life never has to be the same, and this is really a focus for a lot of people at the beginning of a new year!
2015 was possibly one of the lowest years of my life, and with that a very difficult season for me. It held for me months of just surviving the 1sts and ploughing on in life following the stillbirth of our daughter at the end of 2014. I had a lot of run in’s with people as I tried to make sense of everything and deal with various stages and emotions that came with grief, but I also saw the immense kindness and love of people (family, friends and strangers) as they helped our family and tried day in day out to support me in my pain!
I found being out with my children made life great, the clarity the outdoors brings helped me breathe again and see the beauties that were still there in life and the world. I felt joy and appreciation as we had adventures, fun and travels and these helped me take steps forward in my healing.
I am grateful for a new year, that whilst I still carry pain from loosing Poppy, this year I do not have to face the 1sts, because I have conquered those. I have started traditions and little things that help me remember her, keep her close and alive within our family. I look forward to this year to new memories, new adventures and new experiences.
Whilst I do not make news resolutions, I do make goals, but these are not bound to the new years.. I find evaluating my life every so often and making a plan for the foreseeable future with measurable goals helps me to feel confident and have direction. Last year I missed that in my life and felt I was very much drifting, but despite wanting to have goals my energy and mentality couldn’t take on anything other than survival!
I hope this year, as I say, is different though. We have some obvious goals to reach which are exciting and life changing, those being Nathan finishing university and the prospect of a new Job and home! Then We have Megan Starting school in September and a family holiday in the summer with Nathans side, which are all exciting things to work for. In addition to these family goals and milestones, I also have some personal goals to bid farewell to the old and bring in the new and a hopeful 2016 they’re not my usual lofty ones of learn a new language, instrument and who knows what else, but they are things that will stretch me and help me in my new normal and loves:
– Continue to grow my blog, work with brands and raise awareness of loss and Trisomy 18, both via my blog and other ways
– Become a SANDS befriender and help on their committee
– Improve my photography and invest in a camera – It brings me more joy than I ever realised
– Start my own book! Its about loss that’s all I am saying, but not what your might expect!
– Read more and watch less – I bought some books recently and really want to get into them!
– Use my phone less when with my kids – make the moments count
– Visit a new country (one I have every year)
– Look at having a number 4 baby (Did I just write that?) and hope its not 4,5 & 6!!!
And that’s about it, take each day as it comes but always try and make it better, find joy in life and be grateful, and finally look after myself… if I need a rest, a break, a cry, a chocolate bar… im doing it guilt free!! I still battle grief and so time outs are needed. I also have small character things and habits I am always working on, and don’t think these need to be titled “Goals” as its a working progress. The things above however are things that next year can be ticked off as “Yes I did that” just as for 2015 I can put a big fat “YES” next to “survive baby loss and its 1st year”!!
What about you? What do you hope this year will bring your way?