Not my favourite things

Megan is at that age where things are her favourite or they’re tossed aside! She will only colour with pink “because it my favwit”, she won’t eat cooked pepper because it isn’t raw, its Elsa NOT Anna that is her fave and she will NOT go anywhere without “Peter Rabbit” for he is her most fave of all (£5 Ikea stuffed toy not the real thing shhhhh). She also loves Satsumas, Bananas, hummus wraps, cheesey pasta, ham (minus the sandwich), chicken, princesses , Thomas and Peppa pig..she makes it clear she does not like anything spicy and “hot donalds” (McDs) in her words is “rubbish”!!!

WP_20150114_12_30_48_ProI absolutely love Megs (most people seem to) – she is mint and a very funny young lady; her speech is brilliant and phrases classic. She is kind, helpful, likes to sing, craft and is VERY independent yet snugly too, nothing seems to phase her and having mostly male cousins she certainly gives them a run for their money! In some ways her and Ethan are like peas in a pod, real little buddies and then in others polar opposites, especially if you happen to get on her wrong side, you will most certainly know with out a doubt that you are not her favourite person.

We all have favourite things in our lives… programmes, books, outfits, shops, restaurants, holiday destinations etc that bring such joy to us in our lives, being an adult though usually means we have to exercise a level of tolerance when we are faced with things that don’t make us happy or bring us the joy that our favourite activities, people and foods do. I sometimes find myself in a situation, especially now as a “bereaved mother” that I desperately want to just cast it aside like the wrong colour crayon…oh to be 2.5 again!
My not so favourite things come in the form of pregnant women, new mothers, awkward people when you say you’ve lost a child and the the people that think they know but really have no idea at all. I just wish at times people were a little more normal..talked about my baby like you would any other. Why is it that wherever you go these people are there grinning…rubbing their bellies, everyone gushing over the newborn? A fun night out or quick trip, for me, can suddenly turn sour when I turn round to be faced with Miss Preggo! I used to be the same as the majority, but my eyes have opened now to the other side, the side where when you see an expectant mother the feelings of emptiness accelerate as she rubs her belly you long for your baby back because in their she was safe, she was growing and she had a heart beat.
I used to love snuggles with a new baby and get all the deets from the new mummy but now all I can do is congratulate from a distance and force a smile because my most recent birth experience was silent, and the new baby I held was still, was cold and never beheld my loving gaze. It is extremely difficult to look at a new baby and not remember that!
Then there’s people that ask me how many kids I have and I ALWAYS pause…if I tell the truth there will most likely be shifty behaviour and an awkward silence, of course I want to share my 3rd child but I know not everyone is in a place to receive her and so usually say “2 at the moment” I feel justified that I am not excluding her because right now with me I have 2. I have learn’t there are people in life that can deal with it and these people I treasure their time and conversation, we can naturally bring her up or talk of infant loss and it not be weird nor awkward, they don’t tell me how to feel or judge me on how I view things at that moment, they don’t pretend to know or force their opinions on me..they are a friend and they listen and talk, they bring me some normality in moments where its so unbelievably far from that!

So yes there are days, situations and moments where these crop up and are not my favourite things, I wish I had Megans attitude and just refused to even entertain them because they’re not what I want, but whilst they are not my favourite I don’t hate them. Life has taught me to tolerate them and have strength; they may ruin a get together because I don’t like the reminder they give me that whilst they are living their dreams ours was taken in a heartbeat, or may make me uncomfortable for a period of time…I don’t know how many of these situations I will endure before I am “used to it” but I know that being an adult and a parent means that sometimes we may have to eat the peppers cooked or colour with something other than pink!

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