Anyone that has had more than one or 2 children will be more than aware of peoples continuous need to tell you how busy your life is going to be, how full your hands are going to get, and generally how life will be quite mad! I am in no doubt that that lies ahead in our future, especially as she grows and begins to assert her own independence, is awake more, and as everyone’s schedules increase in demands, but right now life is slow and steady and I especially am enjoying just drifting along in our new born stage of life.
This week of course has been far from ordinary as we welcomed our newest edition into the family. The week before I had Alice my dominating emotion was “nervousness”. I couldn’t understand why I felt so nervous and out of my depth even, with the prospect of our new born on the horizon. It was a feeling that really took me by surprise as I’d like to say that having been through this several times before, I’m a bit of an “old hand” with having kids…I know how to establish routines, how to breast feed, how to change nappies, how it feels to be utterly exhausted but somehow surviving yet I really was so nervous about how I would find it. I suppose most mothers go through similar emotions? and maybe it was because it has been a good 4 years since we experienced it, but I find it absolutely amazing how even after 4 years of bringing a new baby home how quickly you just get into it again and how much we have loved it…
I was determined this time round to not rush to get back into life, to not rush to be out and about but to just rest as much as I could..enjoy my baby and establish feeding whilst lapping up the rare peace of the early days. Perhaps its maturity, experience, more self confidence , the fact that she comes after a loss or a combination of them all, but this time it has been different, and it has been so much more natural and easy too. I feel confident in what I am doing, and I am happy doing it.
In the past my life has just gone on quickly after having a baby, I have felt a need to get on with homely duties, be out and looking well and seeing people and generally just skipping a period of rest and enjoyment. Whilst I have done the odd load of laundry whilst been home life has completely slowed down and being very quiet. Its been all about meeting siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, lots of cuddles, sleeps, milk fests and nappies.
And for me I feel great joy, I feel physically good and not too wrecked (yet)..my stomach still aches with after pains, my body of course a little tired and sore from delivery but I feel amazing in myself and I know it is because I am listening and resting when I need it. I have loved the last few days of doing nothing but snoozing with my baby, eating, watching the odd programme, having visits from people, lounging in PJs, feeding her when she wants it and changing her when she needs it. Whilst so different to how life was even a few days ago, it is so ordinary for life with a new born, and every time I grin and stare into her perfect little eyes I know nothing could be more important than how I am spending my time right now.. I am grateful for friends who have done the school run and grandparents for helping with the kids to make it a possibility. I am proud of myself for learning from the past, taking it easy and doing what I need to…new born life is a wonderful life for us and it comes at the start of the summer holidays with more chilling, no routines and time to be a new little family and treasure ordinary moments of life with a new born and all of her firsts.
Linking up with mummydaddyme for #ordinarymoments