Tomorrow Mr Smith officially starts back at university, and now with less than a year to go until he finishes his degree in “Logistics and Supply Chain Management”, our thoughts and conversation are often turned to where we will end up and what he will be doing as a “real Job”. I really cannot believe the 4 years are almost over and our ordinary will become a new one.
It has been a hard thing for both of us for many reasons, but I am also so glad that he has done it and persevered. We are grateful that we both have pulled together for the benefit of him, his goals and dreams and also for the future and benefit of our family. I have loved seeing him stretch, push himself, learn and grow and increase in skill and confidence. I love to hear him tell me things iv’e no idea about and love the way we have worked together and sacrificed in various ways to make this possible. It has definitely being the right thing, has brought us closer and blessed our marriage and lives and we hope it had been the investment we thought it would be for our family and future.
He has pretty much narrowed down now what area he wants to work in next year and for the foreseeable future. He has looked into some companies and programmes he finds exciting, offer a good salary and can open for him the doors he seeks. He is in work mode to get the marks he needs (hopefully the 1st he is on track for but a 2:1 will do), has a plan and deadlines calendar, a good work placement reference behind him and that is pretty much it and all he can do now…work hard and hope for the best. Ahhhhhhhhh!
I worry a lot about who will want him? like him? see his potential? Will they think he’s too old? shy? can offer them what they need? There are so many things in the balance like what if he finds the dream job and he doesn’t fit the mould? or What if he doesn’t find/get anything and its been a waste of time? What if next year rolls round and were flipping skint instead of climbing the ladder?? Its so much to think about when our Ordinary for the last 3 years has been this student life of a tight budget, crazy schedules and always planning and evaluating of what our future will look like and now we are on the verge of the unknown and taking a step into the dark not knowing what is next to be written as our story.
I have been very aware over these “my husband is a student” years that it is not reality or a realistic way to live, but rather a stepping stone chapter to where we want to be. Right now life means there are days when he or I sleep in and don’t do a whole lot, I like it but know it can’t last forever and never does, because then there are the the ones where I never see him because of revision, deadlines, lectures and studying and for weeks at a time we are like passing ships. We both feel that as this chapter closes real life will and can begin, our finances will be healthier and schedules more realistic. We just really hope that it actually pans out that way.
This home we have, whilst lovely, to us was only ever intended to be a stepping stone too to see us through the student period, and so now as change approaches I like to think of the many places I wouldn’t mind living. We spend hours together on ‘right move’ dreaming of where we might end up living once he graduates. We talk about what is essential for our next home (a hallway, dining room, driveway) and what we can compromise on. Its such an ordinary scene of us sat together, him on his Ipad me on my laptop, having these repeated discussions and getting giddy or going nuts when we see an amazing house that we could see ourselves in with an affordable price tag. Its also ordinary to then follow it up with “ahhhh if only it was next year”!!
Iv’e never really had a dream location of where I would like to be long term as I get bored easily and enjoy new adventures in my life. I do often dream of this dreamy looking family lifestyle with amazing scenery (coastal or country) and a slower pace of life. Somewhere where people are more aware of others and make time to say “hello”. I always think I’d like for us to be somewhere where we can be outside and enjoy the world and nature. Somewhere that definitely doesn’t remind me of loosing my baby and having such a difficult year…a place with a new vibe and energy and more space for everything and room to grow.
As I write this though I have to say that I also love the ease of access into Cities…the diversity, endless amount of stuff to do, wide selection of shops and culture right on our doorstep. Throw in then to the mix that we have frequently discussed possibly some time abroad to see the world and experience life in another country and it culture and you pretty much have our ordinary nights of being absolutely clueless of where our next adventure and chapter lies and what our lifestyle will be. To me though that right there is the exciting part – that we are both on the same page with being open to living literally anywhere in the world as a little family, supporting one another in our goals and dreams and having a new adventure together. We know that we will work out the specifics and requirements when the time comes and things are clearer, but we have fun now imagining ‘what if’…
So now as we continue to work hard together for our families future we are moving further forward in the direction that we dream of – a new Job in possibly a new location, definitely a new home and the start of a new chapter with a lot more adventures and learning opportunities for all. This year will be the most intense yet for his career path, but we will make the most of the random days and afternoons we get together and continue to pull together and sacrifice when he needs more time for revision and deadlines. We are ready for it and can do it because it is our ordinary and we know that it is the key to our future and passage to fulfilling our dreams.