Most women that have been pregnant will be aware of the invasive genetic testing that is the ‘AMNIO’!!

In all pregnancies I have been against it/not seen a need for it as to us and our family it made no difference what our child was or had. I have worked a lot in my life with children and adults with special needs and various syndromes and it has never bothered me and so knew if I ever bore a child with special needs I would just get on and raise them as “Normal”(hate that word) as possible.

It then was an extremely difficult decision to make when we were told that in this pregnancy it was an essential test in order to determine babies care plan. I have been shocked over the last 10 weeks at how many times I have been asked by Drs if we would like to continue or terminate the pregnancy. We have always, with out doubt, said that that is never an option for us. We have since been told that should baby Smith be born with a syndrome that is fatal, they will not proceed with surgery but that we will have a “comfort care” plan. How painful is that to hear??? The baby we are fighting so hard for doesn’t really stand a chance of life if she possesses one of 3 syndromes! With all this info, the choice was almost taken from us… we decided to wait until 30 weeks and risk pre-term labour as oppose to a miscarriage. We not only wanted the Drs to have as much info as possible but should it be bad news we wanted time to come to terms with it and know that we wouldn’t have long with our baby. Or (hopefully) if its all clear or not a life threatening syndrome then we and the Drs can do all we can to help her have the best chance possible.

Today at 30 + 2 after deciding it was right to go ahead with the Amnio off we went to have it done! EEEEK!
I was super anxious and quite emotional about the whole thing all week but today felt quite composed, the staff were excellent and so nice and clear about everything:

Awaiting procedure!

Awaiting procedure!

They first put some freezing sterile solution over my tummy and then inserted the narrow 12″ needle! (Sorry no pic of that part) It really didn’t take long, the needle felt much like a bee sting and they managed to take 20ml of amniotic fluid to test. Baby seemed fine after, as did I (so far). The bonus was we also had a 3d scan prior and saw some great pictures! We will know the outcome in 24hrs and any other chromosome problems within 2 weeks. We hope and pray she has a chance… our beautiful baby Smith the 3rd!

012

Follow:

We had the most amazing day out this week to Alton towers and at the bargainous price of only £25 for us all! GET IN!

056

Neither Nathan or I had been in years and it was certainly different going with kids than as young adrenaline seeking adults! Things took a lot longer, way more toilet stops and towards the end quite A LOT of whining! But nothing prepared us for the sheer awe and joy on both of their little faces as they entered ‘CBeebies Land’ – our hearts were full of joy at the excitment on both of their little faces and it was that moment that reminded us why we decided to do the ‘Summer bucket list’! Family fun and joy was something we all needed after the last few weeks.

You can see Megan literally jumping for joy!

You can see Megan literally jumping for joy!

Other than the mono rail and cable cars I was strictly kids rides only; not that I was complaining as i’m not the most enthusiastic person when it comes to Roller coasters! I did however let Nath go off and ride a couple (Rita and The Smiler) and he was loving life. I think that he found it harder being bound to the kids areas than I did and so for that we were glad we hadn’t paid full price. If we were to go again we would deffs go with another family so he can have someone to go off and play with!

We all loved it though and Alton towers is so family friendly and thoughtful, an excellent start to our summer of fun!

Ethan’s Highlights:
“The tree top ride and postman pat are my favourites mummy”
016 044 049

Megan’s Highlights:
“I see upsey Daisy…I yuv her” and bouncing like a nutter in ‘Wobble world’

008 020

Follow:

Who would have thought that a diaphragm could cause so many problems?
Well little madam Smiths certainly has! When we were first diagnosed with CHD back at 2o weeks the cardiologist thought she saw a ‘Diaphragmatic hernia’ that was causing babies heart to be pushed to the right and stomach in the left side of the chest. The end result with this and severe CHD was a baby that would not survive past birth…we were sent straight to fetal medicine for more scans and it was then said the diaphragm looked fine. PHEW!

Fast forward 4 weeks and we presented again with the news “we think your baby has a diaphragmatic hernia” – WHAT THE HECK! I’m telling you this journey is such a roller coaster. I can see why pregnant women should not ride them, its stressful! I was hesitant until she drew us  a picture, it was identical to that of the original the cardiologist had previously drawn and we thought then it couldn’t be a coincidence.

To answer it once and for all I was sent last Monday for an MRI. That was awkward; being naked in a hospital gown and answering questions from the male radiographer – eeek

Today we finally got an answer – No she doesn’t have a hernia BUT after having a specialist look at the images from Sheffield she diagnosed ‘Eventration of the Diaphragm’. We still do not know much about this, just that it means its abnormally high and isn’t muscle but has formed from  fibroelastic tissue, So it doesn’t contract (is paralyzed). It seems she will need another surgery along with the 3 she faces with her heart. Her lungs also are smaller as a result. The extent will not be known until birth.

So how do we feel? Relieved to finally know the diaphragm sitch but apart from that I am pretty numb to other emotion. Were 29 weeks now and keep having stuff thrown at us that we don’t know what to think / feel!

Days like this I just want to give life the V's and not have to think about it all!

Days like this I just want to give life the V’s and not have to think about it all!

 

Follow:

This November is the big ‘3-0’ for me!I love birthdays…for me they should be ‘birth-weeks’ because I really do try to stretch it out for at least a week of celebrating! But this one does make me slightly nervous, I don’t know why, probs because im getting old!!! But with today being the 30th I am reminded that it is fast approaching.

On my 29th I had this mad panic that I’d lived almost 30 years and barley accomplished much and so after some searching on Pinterest (of course) I came across the idea of “30 before 30” – a bucket list to complete before hitting your 30’s. Along with the goals I set myself to accomplish this year I also decided to list 29 things id done before 29..i’m so glad I did because I realized all the amazing things I had done with my life so far and it really was a boost (try it), things like falling in love, getting married and having 2 kids, flying planes in the RAF (I was a cadet not it the air force), shot Army rifles, Traveling (Some of Europe, Mexico, USA),Mountain climbing, overcoming depression, Festivals and concerts, various qualifications and a few more personal things, but overall I felt life had so many adventures that I had already experienced and many more to come.

plane

 

So.. 30 BEFORE 30:

  •  Finish my Hairdressing course
  • Be debt free
  • Host a posh dinner party
  • Watch a classic series of films
  • Start a blog
  • Learn the art of Indian cooking
  • Take a new dance / exercise class (for a term)
  • See a west end production
  • Eat an Animal ive never eaten before
  • Sleep under the stars
  • Visit the Natural history & British museum (Hello London trip)
  • Visit a new country
  • Milk a cow
  • Get Legs waxed
  • Have a spray Tan
  • Breakfast on the beach / sunrise with Nath
  • Camping with the Kids
  • Start a collection – Christmas plates
  • Watch 5 films from 1984
  • Take a make up class
  • See Auschwitz
  • Start a business
  • Start Personal History / project life
  • Swim in 2 different seas in the same day
  • Organize an activity for church
  • Be preggers or have had #3
  • 30 Acts of random kindness
  • Complete the National 3 peaks
  • Do something embarrassing
  • (Spiritual goal)

 

I was so excited about these goals and felt i’d finally be a ‘real woman’ haha as each one had purpose – help me better myself, help others, see some more of this amazing world , do a couple of random things and learn some domestic goddess skills, overall have a crazy fun last year of my twenties!! As you can see ive already accomplished a few (whooop check me – its been fun).
However what I didn’t expect was that this year of life would also throw at me probably one of the hardest challenges yet – expecting a baby with CHD and uncertainty from birth. Obviously this has also taught us to live and try to enjoy life to the full but I have found it hard that what I was hoping to experience this year probably cannot happen. My time in which to accomplish these is less as from September we are likely to be in hospital for AGES and I obviously cannot travel as far as I hoped in case I go into preterm labour and are not near a hospital equipped to deal with her problems. So rather than feeling like a failure I look at it as a temporary sacrifice, ive moved some onto my life ‘bucket list’ (I will do them one day) and instead combined some of them into a “Summer bucket List” that we can all enjoy, we are determined this summer to do so many fun things, have so many new adventures and laugh and have a generally mint time as a family as we know that as the summer ends we all have a big mountain to climb and our lives will be a challenge and we will have to be apart at times. So as we hit July tomorrow we look forward to a mint couple of months together, fingers crossed for lots of sunshine…

cartoon-beach-wallpaper

Camping – Alton towers – “Windy Castle” – Beach trips – Boat ride (To name a few)

 What can you do to live life to the full this summer? Make it count! 

 

Follow: